It might as well be spring

I remember that when I got back to North America, I was overwhelmed by the amount of signs everywhere, signs telling you what to do, what not to do, when to do it (or abstain from doing it). I felt like I was bombarded by directives, wondering where my freedom went. As with the excessive amount of sugar and salt I initially tasted in everything, this sensation slowly dissipated, and now here I am, living in a city that, albeit not as full of such signs as Hawaii is, is as full of the rules that pin modern life down nonetheless.

Months of traveling and being free to go and do almost whatever I wanted, I now spend most of my days sitting at a desk in front of a computer. I have a wonderful view (for now) over the 'mountain' and have a rescued geranium on the window sill that has heralded me with flowers since January along with two spider plants sharing a pot that I think need to be separated. After years of wanting a job where I write and edit and help to make the world a better place, I finally have it... It is much like other 'desk jobs' other than that I can keep in mind, on those days when it all seems like my efforts aren't getting anywhere, that the end result is hopefully changing someone's live for the better.

So, the rules... These rules I mention seem to tie me down to comfort more often than not, tie me down to the ideas I 'should' have, perceptions of who I perceive society suggests I be for success. Not being one who's ever been all that good about doing what other people think I should (not that I'm all that original, more that I have a fickle sense of others' opinions). And what is this success? The one I would like is fulfillment (which can only come from challenges we face, some will be successes in the traditional sense of the world but others won't, however we learn from them all), and happiness, which pretty much comes from a similar arena - pushing yourself a little beyond comfort zones, constantly exploring the world around you and trying to be the best you can be.

I know this probably all sounds like cheesy platitudes taken from Chicken Soup for the Soul (there is one for Nascar now? Whaaaaaat?) but, however often we hear them, the test is in whether we try to actually live them.

To be honest, I think this is where my recent sense of lassitude has come from: I am lacking that challenge and in that way am also letting myself down. I have let myself stagnate somewhat, have got caught up in winter's hibernation, but watch out, now I am ready for spring!